Steph - T D

Imagine these scenarios: You walk into a tattoo studio, and kindly ask the manager to make sure the needle they use to puncture your skin is infected with HIV and Hepatitis B.

Or you walk into your local medical practitioner's office and beg for the nurse to rub the back of your tonsils with the swab of the last streptococcus-infected 7 year old patient who visited the office.

This is essentially what the Boston Celtics organization will be doing on Friday morning, when they officially sign Stephon Marbury, following his recent long-speculated and awaited departure from the New York Knicks.

With 23 games to go in the regular season, and a 46-13 record, the Celtics are on the cusp of agreeing to consensual rape, and infecting themselves with the prolific cancer that is Starbury. He's not a basketball player, he's a Steph - T D. A fatal, team-depleting disease, disguised as an NBA player, known to dismantle locker rooms and totally deplete team chemistry.

After personally witnessing Marbury's shenanigans for 4 plus years with my New York Knickerbockers, I have to help but wonder why in God's name the Celtics would willingly make a move of this nature, coming off a championship season, and on the verge of another ring in June.

It's no coincidence that a Stephon Marbury team has never made it to the second round of the playoffs. It's also no coincidence that EVERY team Marbury has ever played on has improved DRASTICALLY following his departure. Need proof? Here we go.

Following Marbury's departure from Minnesota in '99, the T-Wolves went on to the most successful 5 year run in franchise history, capped by a 58 win season and a Western Conference Finals appearance in 2004. In their first season following Marbury's departure in 1999-2000, they reached the 50 win mark for the first time in franchise history.

When Marbury exited New Jersey, they went on to two NBA Finals appearances.

When Marbury left Phoenix, they became the most prolific offense in the NBA, and went on to 4 consecutive seasons of 50+ wins, two 60 win seasons, and 2 trips to the Western Conference Finals.

Following Marbury's exile from the Knick team this December, the Knicks have played their best basketball since the 2001 season. They have already eclipsed their win total of last season, and are in the hunt for a playoff spot for the first time in 5 years.

The Boston Celtics are playing with some serious fire. Add on the fact that Marbury already has a "Kobe/Shaq-esque" history with KG. Add on the fact that they don't exactly have a Phil Jackson, Pat Riley, or Greg Popovich coaching this team. They have Doc Rivers. As good of a job Rivers has done with this bunch, winning the trophy last year, what did he really do before the arrival of Garnett and Ray Allen? Doc Rivers is about as overrated of a head coach as they come.

With an established hall of famer like Riley or Phil Jackson, or Pop on the bench, able to manage strong personalities and headcases in the locker room, I may understand this move. But with Doc Rivers, I'm not sure. It remains to be seen if Rivers can effectively handle a team cancer like Marbury, without disrupting the outstanding chemistry of the Celtic's current squad.

Rivers has a bunch of players on his team right now that flat out "get it" and that is the reason for the C's success. Add in a player that flat out has never "gotten it" and this could end up bad. Rivers could barely handle Ricky Davis, who compared to Marbury, is a saint.

Another factor is Rajon Rondo. The Celtics have a young, rising stud on their hands with Rondo at the 1. Do they really want Marbury acting as a role model and influence, and corrupting their rising star? Exposing Rondo to Marbury, is equatable to letting your three year old watch season one of the Sopranos. You just don't do it.

With so many questions, only one thing is certain. The true leadership abilities of Garnett and Pierce along with the coaching ability of Rivers will truly be tested for the remainder of this season.

If the Celtics can somehow find a way to repeat as champions, with the self-proclaimed "Best point guard in the league" on their squad, not only should Rivers be named Coach of the Year, he should receive a Nobel Prize.




The jury certainly is out, right now I'd say things sure are looking good for LeBron and Kobe...